Twilight Princess: an alternate take?
by tamaraniantuesday
Summary: The hero of light was supposed to have his set journey, a dungeon here or there, with a multitude of interesting characters to meet along the way, a certain goddess however disagreed
1. Chapter 1: the hero's first chest?

**the legend of** **Zelda belongs to** **shigeru miyamoto, takashi tezuka and Nintendo, I own nothing but this story**

 **Talking: "** hello"

 **Thinking: '** _what the fuck'_

 **Demonic talking: "did you just spit in my face"**

 **Demonic thinking: _"I hate everything"_**

Up above, far above, leagues upon leagues above The City in the Sky, a certain goddess was contemplating on what to do with her little hero, this particular one had sadness waiting at the end of his journey, in the form of a broken mirror.

"Hmm, what to do, after several lives dedicated to stopping that sore loser's cum-i mean curse stain, he definitely deserves an easier life" said Hylia, rattling her brain in hopes something would come up, her daughters, din, farore and nayru fighting in the background, distracting her just a little bit.

"-and I'm telling you, Link was his coolest when fighting that ugly monster Majora!" Shouted Din, who was arguing with her annoying-I mean beloved sister, Nayru, who insisted that the hero of wind was cooler because he became a hero on his own, at which Din called him (the hero) something even Hylia couldn't repeat which led to a fist fight between the two, with Farore panicking because she didn't know how to stop it.

"Girls will you!-wait, of course! I'll grant him equipment, enhancements, maybe a musical instrument, yes, I think I'll go with the Majora timeline" muttered Hylia, enthusiastically might I add, and with snap of her fingers and a flair of her godly power, she-"you fucked with the timeline!?"-grounded Din, as none of her babies were supposed to curse under her roof.

 **~Ordon village~**

all was quiet, amazingly so, as the people of ordon had celebrated quiet late that night, what for? A certain young man, though a boy in age, had completed his training in the ways of the sword under Rusl, the village warrior, however our young hero was sound asleep, not a noise escaping his dreamless sleep, too bad a _very,_ bright light was coming off a chest that just happened to pop up in his house had to wake him upup

 **I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to be that short, I promise you I'll be writing far more than this, this is more or less the prologue**


	2. Chapter 2: Link the herder of goats

**the legend of** **Zelda belongs to** **shigeru miyamoto, takashi tezuka and Nintendo, I own nothing but this story**

 **Talking:** "henlo"

 **thinking: '** _henlo'_

 **Demonic talking: "henlo",**

 **Demonic thinking: " _henlo"_**

With sudden flash of blinding light that forced it's way through even the immovable shutters that are Link's eyelids a chest formed, seemingly out of nowhere, into the house of our now grumpy and somewhat groggy hero, "I hate you Rusl" muttered Link, not yet aware that the blinding light wasn't coming from a lantern nor was it mortal-made.

Link had slowly but surely opened his eyes fully, trying to wake up, so you can imagine his surprise when he saw the golden glowing chest, filling him with both excitement and wariness. "W-Wha..am I dreaming? I'm pretty sure I only have one chest and it's in the basement" said Link, unknowingly voicing his thoughts, he was about to pinch himself when he felt an almost irresistible pull on him coming from the chest, it took nearly every ounce of his willpower to not hop off the platform his bed was on and rush over to open the chest. "...damn, now I'm too excited to go back to sleep" grumbled Link, still just a bit irritated that he was taken away from his precious dreamland dubbed an 'all-can-eat' utopia, and with that he made his way down to the chest.

 **~Ordon Village ~**

Mayor Bo and Rusl were once again playing a card game that would determine who would win a whopping 100 rupees, apparently the scolding they got last time from both Ilia and Uli respectively didn't stick, what did however was that blinding golden light that was coming from Link's house. In Bo's eyes the boy was practically already his step-son, and to Rusl the young swordsman was part of his family, Uli and every other member thought so, including him, both men rushed to the admittedly blinding light as fast as they could.

Link had already opened the chest and was holding a rather peculiar mask in his hands, it looked like those strange deku scrubs he sometimes saw at the far edges of the forest outside Ordon, so with nothing else to do, he put it on. A green light had taken place, and a rather horrifying transformation following, with a strange sound and a yell, the light vanished...*rattle rattle* "!...!" Shouted Link, or should I say, the little deku scrub clad in a strange green garb, _'what is this!? Why am I shorter!? I wasn't even dressed like this before I transformed!'_ thought a rather alarmed Link, "...!" and with that, the poor, still admittedly groggy boy turned deku scrub fainted

"LINK!" Shouted the two men, barging in to see if he was okay, "huh?" Sounded both Bo and Rusl, as Bo, who's eyes are always squinted, got a closer look. "Rusl...does that deku scrub have blond hair or is it just me?" Asked Bo, Rusl, with a squint of his own eyes he too, saw what the mayor was looking at and promptly let out a groan, "Link what did you do this time?".

 **~deku dream sequence skip no jutsu~**

Link awoke with a groan, putting his little deku hand to his forehead and, to his surprise, pulled the mask off, he figured it was permanent, " wha...what's going on, was that a dream?" Asked Link, not expecting an answer. "Link what did you do?" Asked Rusl, who was by now, exasperated, you see Link was a prankster, in fact, half of the things the kids pulled off was Link's doing, he was sadly used to it by now. "I swear it wasn't me this time! This chest literally just showed up, in my house mind you, from a light that was way too bright!" Exclaimed and then grumbled Link, who was unsurprisingly still irritated from the lack of his beloved sleep, at which Rusl sighed loudly, he was also kind of lazy, thankfully he didn't pull too many pranks because of that.

"Link, what was that? What happened?" Questioned Mayor Bo. "I'm not too sure, sir, one moment I put the mask on and the next I turned into a deku scrub, dressed in clothes that are strangely familiar" sighed Link, it was cool and all but, he didn't know what to do with it. "Are you alright Link?" Asked Rusl who was slightly concerned, "I'm fine, just tired, and little excited to see what else is in this chest" said Link, it was true, he was imagining what other masks were in there, somehow knowing there'd be something really cool, maybe a Zora mask? Yeah that'd be cool, Link was now daydreaming of sleeping underwater. "Link.." Rusl sighed, knowing what he was thinking, "what are you gonna do now?" Questioned Rusl, tiredly, "well..."

 **aaaand done! I hope this was longer than the last, I've been using my netbook for this as opposed to the phone I always use to do just about everything so my perception is a bit off, I hope you enjoy! and yes, Link is a lazy prankster in this story**


	3. Chapter 3: Link's joy? Ordon's misery

**the legend of** **Zelda belongs to** **shigeru miyamoto, takashi tezuka and Nintendo, I own nothing but this story**

 **Talking:** "henlo"

 **thinking: '** _henlo'_

 **Demonic talking: "henlo",**

 **Demonic thinking: " _henlo"_**

 **Hello! I'm back with a new chapter after thinking it through for a good bit, I have it all planned out in my imagination, let's hope I can put it into words :)**

Rumbling laughter echoed all throughout Ordon, it was deep, filled with a twisted sense of joy, what horrifying creature could this-"get back here Link!" be..what? "No way! I'm having too much fun! You're just jealous!" Said Link, who was enjoying the Goron form more than he probably should. "Link! Ugh..you're lazy every other time of the day but as soon as you find out you can pull off more pranks you're mischief incarnate!" grumbled Rusl, who was even more exasperated (and somewhat horrified) to find out what Link could do with all these new forms.

 **~with Ilia~**

She was once again washing, and talking to Epona, who always seemed to be too intelligent for a horse, Ilia had blown up at Link once more for causing an injury to Epona, which admittedly wasn't even mildly bad, though to be fair Link shouldn't have stuck his tongue out at her. "What am I gonna do with him girl? What if he does something dangerous or stupid, well, more stupid than normal one of these days? Then again it's not like he'd leave Ordon considering this is his stomping grounds" said Ilia, who looked somewhat sheepish when Epona winnied with as much of a deadpan look a horse can get, she could swear she heard the words "you f*ckin jinxed it", poor Ilia didn't know how wrong and right she'd be in the next few moments.

 **~with link and friends~**

Link had of course went searching for Epona (after fixing the mess he caused as a goron) with the help of Colin, he liked the kid, though he was a bit too timid, Talo, Malo and Beth were a bit too rough and tough for him, luckily he still had enough courage to stand up to Ilia. *rustle rustle* Link had made his way through that small, moldy and mossy tunnel, into the shockingly beautiful spring, which was still his favorite spot to this day, "Ilia, I know I should be more gentle with Epona but you can't just run off with her, she's my horse and my friend, just as you are my friend." Link said in a calm, and surprisingly patient tone. *sigh* "I'm sorry Link, I know I can be a bit too much sometimes, I just, really don't want you or Epona getting hurt" Ilia said, sadly. "Ilia..it's ok, I'm not mad, just please stop worrying, this spring heals and I did just become a master swordsman,"-though he said competent in his mind, hey! Until he had 'super' cool moves he didn't consider himself a master-"I'll be fine and so will she." Said Link, who was just now starting to understand where Ilia was coming from. "Alright..thank you Link, I'll try not to worry so much, besides it's not like you're going on a journey anytime soon" said Ilia, "eheheh, about that.." Link muttered sheepishly, causing Ilia to give him a look comprised up concern, alarm and feminine fury, a rather petrifying grease in his opinion. "Link what do you mean!" Ilia had started shouting, "well..wait, do you hear that?" Asked a now, _very_ alarmed Link. "Link you can't!-..what?" Ilia was now worried, * **THUD THUD THUD THUD*** Link could tell it was heavier than a horse, yet galloped just as fast, * **SMASH*** Link's eyes widened, a monster! and all he had was his sword, damn. * **!*** the monster had blown into what looked like a war horn and had clubbed him in one, swift movement, you know what happens next.

 **~time skip spell card, activate!~**

It had been a good few hours of blackness, no dreams, only forced sleep, Link's eyelids finally fluttered open, "wha..where am I? Ugh, last thing I remember was this crazy dream" muttered Link, still a bit woozy. "It wasn't a dream Link..monsters, they came and attacked the spring while our guard was down, they have Ilia, and I'm not sure where Epona is." said Rusl, who found it hard to break the news to Link, especially knowing the boy would go out into the world just to look for them, it was a dangerous world out there, with many unknowns roaming around. "Rusl..you aren't kidding..are you?" It was more of a statement than a question coming from link, he was about to ask for a sword and shield when Uli came in, reluctantly, with a wooden shield, and a shining, sharpened blade, she knew what was about to happen, though she didn't wanna lose the boy she thought of as a son. "Link..just come back alive and in more than one piece, ok?" She requested shakily, her voice threatening to break, Link had no choice but to promise, he planned on being alive to enjoy the moment when he found both Ilia and Epona, he knew what he had to do.

 **~line break, location: Ordon spring~**

She watched him, quizzically, she already liked the kid, he had a real mischievous side and she had been enjoying watching his pranks for a while, but now was the time for him to step up, and he certainly looked the part, yes, she would be waiting for him from within the barrier of twilight energy.

 **~with link~**

He could swear someone was watching him, he saw a shadow pass through quickly though he shrugged it off, maybe he was hit harder than he thought, but now? He had a bottle to fill, spring water would help, and with that, our hero takes his first steps towards a massive adventure, filled with danger, fun filled times and little did he or anyone else know, romance.

 **probably a short chapter but my nextbook is currently dying, I wish I could write more until next time which is probably later today! :)**


	4. Chapter 4: By Hylia's Beard!

**the legend of** **Zelda belongs to** **shigeru miyamoto, takashi tezuka and Nintendo, I own nothing but this story**

 **Talking:** "henlo"

 **thinking: '** _henlo'_

 **Demonic talking: "henlo",**

 **Demonic thinking: legends**

" _Ok so I'm in prison, cool_ "

So maybe he shouldn't have rushed right through the wall of black energy that seemed to cut the world off from his humble, little village, but hey, on the bright side, he's a rather cool looking wolf. Maybe he still had all his stuff? Yeah he probably still had all his stuff, somewhere, hey, magic, it's pretty nifty, even though he doesn't exactly have magic, oh well! Still though, pretty cool wolf form, though, prison, wait, is that an adorable imp?

* **broof!*** oh, apparently he couldn't speak, luckily or unluckily the adorable imp understood him

"I'm not adorable I'm scary!" Yelled the blushing imp, who he now knows is named Midna, oh hey, Midna, midnight, I get it, apparently he barked that out loud too because she's charging up a small energy ball

"!" His chain broke, and here he thought this might have been a bdsm type of situation, oh shit was he a pervert? Possibly, judging from the appalled and slightly embarrassed look upon the imp's face, he's gonna call her snaggletooth from now on, on the account of her adorable snaggletooth.

"I swear to whatever god you worship I'm gonna aim for you next if you call me that again" commented a slightly put off Midna, she expected to tease a silent, prudish hero when she arrived in the light world, but then she learns he's not only a prankster, honestly she liked that but he's also a pervert, she could've gotten along with that if she wasn't promised by the princess that she'd be able to make the hero red in the face.

* **bruff*** a low sort of dog-like grumble came from link, at least he was free, though he was wondering why everything kind of looked like shit, it was somewhat alarming.

"Ok so long story short, energy from a world that's basically the opposite of this world was brought by some evil asshole in his attempt to rule, and right now he's succeeding, so we're going to see a friend" said Midna, not too upset right now due to liking the atmosphere the twilight brings, even though she absolutely hated those two assholes that did this.

*!* sounded a surprisingly happy and excited Link, an adventure! A dangerous one at that, and probably huge! Yes! He knew exactly what he was gonna do

 **~line break release: small time skip no jutsu!~**

"Stop jostling me around you jerk!" Yelled Midna, to Link whomst (yes that was intentional) had already disposed of the demon birds yet was still running and jumping around, purposely so he could have a good laugh at Midna for a bit and also for style points, after all, he was a cool looking wolf, why act normal. Midna gave him a small jolt when he almost passed the room her friend was in, he wondered who it-" _oh my god"-_ the _princess_! _That's_ who her friend was!? Holy shit she was hot too, damn and he was still in his cool wolf form, now how would he woo her with his devilish charms and dashing good looks!? Certainly not with his unbelievably soft fur! But maybe..

"I can hear you y'know" giggled an amused Princess Zelda, who was glad her assumptions of him being a silent knight was entirely inaccurate, Midna certainly had her hands full with this one

Oh, so she can understand me, maybe I can still woo her.

"How about you try after you get out of the danger zone and save Hyrule" said Zelda, struggling to not laugh so hard that she'd fall on the floor, trying to put up a professional front, especially when Midna's brow started twitching.

"You furred pervert! Focus on the mission" shouted an irritated and slightly insulted Midna, ooh if she was in her true form that pervert would know who to hit on! she was horrified by that train of thought that entered her head, stupid perv!

* **Arf!*** Link decided he'd definitely have something by the end of this journey, he wasn't sure what though, he couldn't wait to go back to being hylian though! He wanted to try out that gerudo mask as well as the zora one, though he'd give this wolf form a good test run of course, maybe he could still call Epona? Nah, probably wouldn't be safe, for her or him, he just wished he could know if his beloved horse and Ilia were safe


	5. Chapter 5: yo this green garb is whack

**the legend of** **Zelda belongs to** **shigeru miyamoto, takashi tezuka and Nintendo, I own nothing but this story**

 **Talking:** "henlo"

 **thinking: '** _henlo'_

 **Demonic talking: "henlo",**

 **Demonic thinking: " _henlo"_**

 **btw, I'm writing for wolf link now and his speech will be in bold texts**

They were bug hunting, bug. hunting. he nor she could comprehend the situation they were in for about an entire minute, bug hunting, cool.

" **stupid light creature thing, stupid lightning bugs, stupid SHADOW CREATURES! The thing I hate the most is that** _stupid fucking bog with it's stupid poisonous fog!_ " shouted link, who was by every definition, done.

"C'mon link we're already almost done, one more and we can explore all we want" encouraged Midna, who was also irritated by that light jerk's request, she wanted to adventure and have fun in this great, big world.

" **I know I know..just one more, then I can test out all the other stuff I got from that chest** " said link, more to himself than to Midna, he still didn't get to try out everything else, these was so much cool stuff in that golden, glowing chest. Along with a cool magical pouch that helped him hold everything, and with that he killed the last bug

"Oh yeah you never did tell me what equipment you have, it must be cool if you're still so whiny about it" groused Midna, who truly was curious, he only made passing mentioned of a zora mask but that's it, he never explained nowt was so special about a plain old mask.

Link then launched into a somewhat exaggerated tale about what his masks could do and what elaborate pranks he pulled with them, though he 'accidentally' forgot to mention that he was caught every single time. Midna was fascinated, masks that could turn you into a multitude of races? She wondered if he could make one that could turn him into a woman, it would be fun to grill him about it. She was then baffled when he said he had a gerudo mask and that it was female but he never tried it on, she didn't think he actually had one, go figure.

" **yeah but I'm afraid to try it on, what it I lose my dingle dangle-whoa!** " Shouted a startled Link, as he was just teleported to the very lake of that light jerk, what's-his-face, yeah, he was slightly freaked out when he was decked out in some, admittedly cool, new clothes, that he wasn't wearing before, weird.

"You were not wearing those before" muttered Midna, who was slightly creeped out by the light spirit now, though now she could at least see what all the hype was about.

"Oh, OH, I still have my pouch? Cool, hey Midna can I have my sword and shield now? I somehow know you have it, though I don't know where you'd store it." Said Link, as it turns out Midna _did_ have it, good, these were special to him. Though now he could try out those masks, probably wouldn't be good to try being a zora right now though, so gerudo it was! * **one bright light later** * link decided it felt weird being a woman.

"Whoa! A good set of boobs too!" Shouted an astonished Midna, which made link choke on air, why did he have to have this mask-oh! A nice set of swords! They're curved too! While link was salivating over the swords, Midna was poking and prodding him, what a weird day.

 **~line break~**

Link was happy, truly happy and feeling at peace for the first time in a while, he was navigating through Hyrule field as a goron and it felt so freeing, he was going so fast too, that lens of truth thing was really helpful in finding some treasure which made this day even better, nothing could ruin his-"you forgot the temple Link"-oh, well, fighting monsters is cool too, part of the adventure.

 **kind of short but I'm bit tired and I also wanna write a Naruto story, I'll look into how to do that because it's been bugging me for a while, tamaraniantuesday out**


End file.
